A Season of Closed Doors and New Beginnings, 10/23/12
Watercolor on Paper
God has been closing so many doors from me this year. I have been rejected in different areas of my life, in spite of my efforts to restore friendships or to find ways to make my dreams happen. He has also been teaching me how to say “no” to good things to give way for better things (or even the best things), and to demand more instead of settling. I try to suck it up and be strong, unlike before when I would sulk too long in my own black well of despair.
I remember how Jesus has been rejected, denied, and abandoned so many times by different people. He did not stay bitter or angry, and He did not avoid people. He continued living out His life the way God wanted Him to. It helps to know that there is a God who knows exactly how I feel because He has experienced these things. It makes me sad that most friendships are seasonal, and it feels frustrating that the steps I have taken to make my dreams happen reached a dead end. These and my other disappointments hurt, but I choose to be at peace with it because I trust that God’s promises are bigger and more wonderful than the plans I have for my life.
Autumn is my favorite season, although I have not actually experienced it yet. I love how it signifies the end of sunny days, and how it foreshadows a gloomy winter that waits for spring. I love how, in spite of the melancholy atmosphere, the colors of the leaves and the way they dance with the wind still make it beautiful.